Don’t take away the keys – powers of attorney

My 88-year-old mother in law bought a new car this week. She’s a terrible driver. But to be honest, she’s always been a terrible driver.

I don’t know anyone who has an older parent on the road who doesn’t wish they’d stop driving.

And yet, she loves driving. Her car is literally her key to independence. She gets to choose where she'll go; when she'll go.

Essentially however, it doesn’t really matter what I think because right now the keys, the new car and the right to decide whether or not to drive, all belong to her.

And this, in a nutshell, is how to think about the agency, autonomy and rights of older people when it comes to powers of attorney. It’s their car and their keys, and they’re licensed to drive. Similarly, it’s their life, their choice and they’re entitled to make their own decisions.

My mother in law could give me a spare set of keys, so I can drive her car sometimes. But she ‘s still got the keys. It’s still her car.

She can take back the spare set from me any time she likes.

With a power of attorney, the older person doesn't give away any of her rights to make her own decisions. The attorney’s view doesn’t override the older person. The attorney has the spare set of keys that’s all.